The Fisk Five (+1)

Signing off

2012-01-03T12:21:00.001-08:00

After over 6 years of blogging on some site or another, I've decided to stop. My original reason for starting a blog was to keep extended family up to date on the goings on of all my kids. It seems now there are less time consuming ways of doing that. Blogging has become something of a chore and harder to squeeze in on a regular basis with four kids. I keep a journal for each child as well as a photo album, so don't feel the need to document in triplicate.

It's been a fun journey from childless to having four.Thanks for coming along with me!

For His Glory.

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Thanksgiving Party

2011-11-17T16:32:00.001-08:00

Today D had is first Kindergarten program and party to celebrate Thanksgiving. He did a great job remembering all his lines and reciting poems! It was fun to see how much he's grown since school's started and what a good student he is. D and I got to do a craft together and then D, Kyle, Grammie, K and I got to share a Thanksgiving meal with all his classmates and there parents.

D waiting for the program to begin!

Just like Mama, D is the tallest in his class. :)

A very attentive boy!

The Measure of a Mom

2011-11-03T19:31:00.000-07:00

I've been having a lot of discussions with others and myself lately about self-worth and my role as a mom. With all of the availability of information these days we are bombarded with how every mother "does things". Of course most people only present their good sides online and so it's easy to start the comparing game and come up far short of ideal.

Our ancestors only had other family members as a gauge on motherhood, which in a way is good as family shares many of the same ideas, beliefs, worldviews, etc so one is mostly to be encouraged with that comparison. But when you start looking at how people from completely different backgrounds, beliefs, socioeconomic groups and even countries parent, you are bound to be discouraged. There is no way any one person could meet the ideal of so many different points of view. In fact if you believe as I do, there is no way to achieve ideal at all. So often I catch myself praying and asking God to make me a better mother and then realize that my prayer really should be "make me a good mother". Without Him I am completely selfish, self-centered, and manipulative of my family. I need Him in order to point my kids to Him.

Recently a list of what an Abiding Mom looked like was going around the social network. I printed it off and pasted it on my wall. It's a great reminder of all that truly matters in life and in our role as moms. That said, what do we do about all that other things we have to make decisions on that aren't of eternal importance, but are still important (i.e. education, health, meals, discipline, extra-curricular activities, etc.)? Like I said before, a hundred years ago there just weren't many options and a young mom simply did what her family had always done in regards to the business of life. Now with all of our convenient technology we have more choices and options then we know what to do with and yet we all want to feel like we made the best decisions and "did right by our kids". Of course once we decide something it becomes what is "right" in our minds in order to meet that need of doing the right thing for our kids. By default then any other choice has to be wrong. This phenomenon has caused divisions in families, churches, and communities. I don't have the answer to the question "How do we allow for a multitude of choices and still be confident in the rightness of our own?"

That leads to my question how do I measure myself as a Mom outside of eternal things if there is no "right way" OR should I not be measuring myself by anything else then by how I point my kids to Christ and all that that entails? That is so hard for me as it's not easily quantified and measured (which is totally how I think). I do though want most of all for one day both my God to say "well done good and faithful servant (Matt 25:21)" and my children to "rise up and call me blessed (Prov 31:28)". I just need to be reminded of that and trust in God's leading and equipping of me in the everyday. I heard once that one really doesn't get to see the "results" of how you did as a parent until your kids are parents. That is a long time!! One thing is for sure... being a parent has forced me to pray and rely on God sooo much more then almost anything else I've encountered in life.

In other measurements... the girls had their checkups last week. Both are completely healthy with no developmental concerns. :)

A is 38lbs and 41in (75% in both areas)
K is 14lbs 6ozs and 25 3/4 in. (K definitely has more rolls then A did at this age. But still only 75% for length and 50% for weight)

Baby K is already starting to out grow her washpod. :(

She really is a sweet happy girl and so excited to be upright.

Pink Party

2011-10-18T09:02:00.000-07:00

Abi decided that she wanted a pink party for her 4th birthday this year. So we did our best to make every thing we could pink. She invited 5 of her closest friends and seemed to have a blast. It's always interesting to get that many 3-5 year old girls together and see how they interact. For the most part they played quite nicely. Our "party craft" was coloring life sized pictures of themselves. Each "portrait" was very indicative of their personalities! I think the guests went home with full hearts and hands and I know that A really enjoyed having them all here!

The party table all ready to go

Some of the decorations.

Kaity's all set for the pink party!

Abi and Kaity

Attempting to help Mama blow up balloons.

Go Abi Go!

Happy Birthday to you!

Time for Pink cupcakes!

Enjoying treats.

More friends.

So much fun.

Pink cupcake with pink frosting!

Burning some energy on a beautiful day.

I'm four!

Fun beads!

Fancy dress up!

4

2011-10-03T09:42:00.001-07:00

My #4 baby is already 4 months. She is starting to show signs of her personality. I think she will be more reserved then A or J, but still can hold her own. She smiles when smiled at, is occasionally ticklish, and laughs when genuinely amused. K is finally sleeping in the room with her sister in her crib. She still gets up once a night, but goes right back to sleep. Her day schedule is up for 1.5-2 hrs and sleeps for 1.5-2 hrs. She has had to be the most flexible as we have to take Dean to school and other such things. All the "big kids" love her and vie for her attention. K sucks her thumb when tired, so I guess I'll have to break all four of the habit!
We love and cherish our little baby and are so grateful that God saw fit to bless us with her!

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For my records...

2011-09-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

D and K had their check ups today. D was 49# and 47 in or 3ft 11in. Can't believe he's that big already!
K was 13 lbs 2 oz and 24 in (at 3 months 13 days). She's put on 4 lbs since her last check up two months ago and grown almost 2 more inches! For comparision A (at 4 months 6 days) was 12 lbs 8oz and 25.5 in. So fun too see kids growing and changing. It happens so quickly. All are healthy with no concerns too. :)

Who is this? ;) I guess all my kids do look alike.

Older ones

2011-09-08T18:28:00.001-07:00

Too often the baby gets the lions share of the camera and posts, so here is one of the three oldest on Labor watching the Colorado Balloon Classic. Awesome pic of the three of them!

In the genes...

2011-09-08T18:26:00.000-07:00

I really really tried to push the paci this time around, but I still seemed to have failed. I guess it's in the genes as they look eerily similar here.

Abi- age 3 months

Kaity- age 3 months

My First's First..

2011-08-24T12:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we got the long awaited call that Dean finally had a spot in the Kindergarten at CMCA. We hurriedly went shopping last night for uniforms and supplies and dropped him off at 12:00 today for his first day (he's in afternoon K). He was so excited and though wasn't sure of all the routines and procedures was happy to jump right in and figure it out. I am so proud of how much he's grown and how bold he is. I'm excited to see all that he learns and how he grows this school year. Also, a big "shout out" to CMCA's staff for making this transition so easy on both student and parent. One of the big reasons we chose this school was for how welcome they make parents feel. I truly felt that they are partnering with Kyle and I in training and teaching our son! Yeah!

First day of school in his uniform.

Showing off the spiderman backpack that he picked out.

So ready to go!

Did you get a good picture of my backpack? :)

Mama (and Kaity) in the Kindergarten hallway. Kyle felt the need to take a picture of me. :)

Dean sitting in his class line listening to stories and songs while awaiting school to start.

Family Camping

2011-08-22T15:37:00.000-07:00

Two weekends ago we ventured out on our first family camping trip. All things considered it went pretty well. The boys took to the woods like fish to water so I see many father/son trips in their future. The girls weren't so amused by the cold and we were constantly having to layer them. I got sick during the trip, so much of the weekend is a blur to me. My SIL Emily came along and was a huge help to Kyle with the kids, as I pretty much just focused on K and slept. Considering though that we didn't get rained out, no one else got sick or injured, and they all want to do it again; I would say that it was a successful trip!

Me loving on a friend's little girl.

Kyle preparing to roast marshmallows while Emily holds a bundled K.

Miss A checking things out.

My handsome and very capable husband. I did very little on this trip.

Emily carried K in the Beco for our little day hike. I love having a "nanny"!

It was an improved campground, so the kids brought their bikes to ride.

D playing ladder golf.

Campfire singalong.

Mama and J on the hiking trail.

Having a snack on the bridge.

Kyle doing his best "Sherlock Holmes" impersonation

The kids up early for breakfast.

The many faces of Kaitlyn..

2011-08-22T15:10:00.000-07:00

Our little 2 month old!

She rarely holds still while awake.

First smile captured on camera.

Final game

2011-08-05T16:14:00.000-07:00

The baseball season is over and already D and Daddy are planning for next year. It's amazing to see how much Dean has grown in skills, confidence, social skills, etc in the past year. I love what sports can do for kids!

Saying the YMCA pledge before the game.

Hanging out on first!

Chatting up the second baseman.

Coming home!

Our good looking ball player.

Daddy helping in the outfield.

Awards ceremony with Coach Rick.

Medal time!

Showing off his new medal.

Can you see it Dad?

Book Review

2011-07-18T19:30:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading Havah by Tosca Lee and was profoundly moved by it. It is a fictional telling of the life of Eve. Tosca uses her imagination to challenge many western assumptions about the garden and life after the garden. It is well written and quite gripping. I was a little bit taken aback at the occasional crudeness or graphic-ness of the book. It's not gratuitous, but instead gives you a raw feeling of the time and place of everything. Some of the ideas that stood out to me were:
- just how much was really lost in the fall from perfection. We take so much for granted because the fallen nature is all we know. What loss to know perfection in relation to creation, spouse, and God and then lose it.
- when God gives Eve the promise of a seed to destroy Satan, we are able to draw the line to Christ; she wouldn't have and so might have assumed her first born son would be the one. What disappointment to come to the end of her life and not see redemption.
-we have so much more understanding of God and His plans because of His word. They most likely had nothing and were grasping to figure out how to live and serve him as imperfect beings.

I highly recommend this book and believe it will give you much food for thought!

Too big

2011-07-18T09:23:00.001-07:00

Why is it that the last baby seems to grow so much faster then the others did? K turns 7 weeks this week and no longer looks like the little newborn we brought home. Sigh! Must cherish every day!

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T-Ball Time

2011-07-13T13:54:00.000-07:00

D is once again playing t-ball/coach pitch with the YMCA. He is far more confident and focused then last year and even being on an older team is very competitive skill wise. Kyle is helping coach and loving sharing the sport he loves with D.

Dean's favorite position to play is 1st base. Probably because in t-ball it's the only position to see any real action. :)

Swinging for the fences.

Learning to throw straight.

Batter up! (with Gramps in the background taking a picture from the other side.)

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Way too fast.

2011-07-10T20:13:00.001-07:00

Tonight as I have been snuggling on the couch with my baby girl I realized just how quickly she is growing and changing. As she approaches 6 weeks old it seems she's lost her newborn look overnight. This is my last baby and I can't believe how fast it is going. Seems like yesterday my first baby was this small and now he's entering kindergarten. I know life only gets busier. Lord, help me to cherish all the "long" days at home as I know I will miss them in the not so far off future.

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On the Go

2011-07-08T08:00:00.001-07:00

I was reading some old blog posts from long ago and was amazed at how often I posted. I definitely haven't kept up in the last several years, but would Iike too. Life is too precious and goes by too fast not to record it somewhere, so here begins adventure with mobile blogging. My phone is my constant companion, while getting to my computer is truly a destination. I'm looking forward to keeping in touch more and recording the quickly passing days of little ones!

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Sibling comparisons

2011-07-07T16:28:00.000-07:00

Today J and K went in for their checkups. Miss K is now 22.5 in (88%) and 9lbs 3ozs (38%). What a growth spurt. She's grown almost 2 inches and gained almost 3 lbs since her last Dr's appt on 6/3. She is longer and heavier then A was at this age. She doesn't look that big because she is so long. It's good to know that she is gaining and eating well! J is 35.5 in (75%) (they must have not measured well at his last visit as there is no way he's shrunk! they had him at 36 1/4 at 18 mos) and 35 lbs (100%). J is shorter and heavier then D was at this age. Lol! I guess he's our little linebacker!

So can you guess who's who? My children definitely bear a resemblance to each other, but I think also maintain their own unique looks.

Age 10 days

Age 7 days

Age 12 days

Age 20 days

The birth of Kaity

2011-06-29T14:43:00.000-07:00

For those who are interested and not squeamish with gory details, here is my fourth (and final!) birth story.

The morning of June 1st started bright and early as we had three children to get up and over to Grammie's before going to the hospital. The night before, after a delicious spaghetti dinner provided by some friends, I had an hour or two of early labor. Unfortunately, by bedtime the contractions had tailed off. This pattern had been repeating itself every evening for the last week. At my 40 week appointment 5 days earlier, my doctor, my husband and I had decided to set an as needed induction date of June 1st. I really didn't think I'd make it that far as I'd never gone that long past my due date. However, my doctor was due to leave the country June 4th and I wasn't comfortable waiting and taking whichever doctor was on call. So on Wed morning, June 1st, we found ourselves heading to the hospital for my third (and final!) induction.

We got there at 7:30 am after picking up a little breakfast. I actually beat my nurse to the room, so just kind of settled in and wandered about while waiting for her. When I was checked at my 40 week appointment I was 3 cm/70% effaced, which is by far the most I'd been prior to any delivery. I was hoping that they could just break my water and things would start without the use of pitocin. I am grateful to have a doctor that was willing to let me try. After starting my IV, monitoring baby, and checking my cervix ( I was now about 3.5 cm dilated), I was cleared to get up and walk a bit. At 8:30, my doctor broke my water and oddly enough no fluid came out. Kaitlyn's head was so well applied to my pelvis that nothing could get around it. My doctor had to push her up a little to get some fluid to come down in order to make sure it was clear. That was almost as painful as the labor. Once baby is down, there is no going back the other way!

I got up to walk again and did so for the bigger part of two hours, just coming back every so often for my nurse to check on the baby. Sad to say I had very few contractions during that two hours and none that I couldn't walk through. It was a nice time of uninterrupted conversation with my husband though. It's so very rare that it's just the two of us that I soaked in that time with him. When my two hours was up, my nurse rechecked my cervix and while it had changed a little (now at a 4) I still wasn't in an active labor pattern so the pitocin was started. I knew going into this that breaking my water first and then starting the pitocin was going to make labor all that much harder, but I vowed to still stick it out as long as I could.

The first two hours (10:30-12:30) were relatively easy. I was able to read, talk, and basically focus on other things. I sat for awhile on a birthing ball by the side of the bed and did some standing too. My movement was limited due to being on continuous monitoring with the pitocin. By 12:30, I was really starting to hurt and "social labor" was over. I was already having to moan through contractions, which seemed to be coming pretty quickly. Even with all the pain I was determined to make it to 1:00pm before caving in and asking for the epidural. At one point I remember Kyle asking me what it felt like. I told him it felt like some one was trying to remove the lower half of my body from the inside. I remember looking at the clock at 12:45 and thinking that this was the longest half hour of my life. Finally 1:00 came and when my nurse came into to adjust the pitocin I asked her to check me. I was now at 5 cm and ready for the epidural.

It probably wasn't but 10 min before the anesthesiologist came, but of course while waiting it seemed much longer. They sat me up for the epidural and while this Dr was nice she was exceedingly slow and methodical. I appreciate her care in not making a mistake, but when it comes to labor pain management time is of the essence. She got the interthecal(?) part of the epidural in and I started to get some relief in my back and lower abdomen. I was still having quite a bit of pain though, more then I remember with other deliveries. I was moaning/crying now through every contraction and looking for something to bite. Weird how the primal instincts kick in like that. My poor nurse probably thought I was going to bite her as she picked up on my need and rolled up a washcloth for me to clamp down on. It actually helped a lot. I really was trying to remember all the relaxation techniques I'd learned, but it just wasn't working. It took the Dr two sticks and way too much time to finally get the epidural catheter in, but then she couldn't figure out how to get the pump to work. In the meantime, I went from getting some relief to none at all again. At 1:20 I asked my nurse to check me again as I was feeling all my pain in my super-pubic area. She did and I was now at a 6. I was really trying to hold on and hoping for some relief soon through the epidural, which the Dr was still trying to get working. She ended up just giving my fentanyl boluses through my epidural, which was just too little too late. By 1:40, I was crying through every contraction and feeling like I was going to be giving birth through my urethra! I asked the nurse to check me again as I was feeling a lot of pressure in addition to all the pain. I was now at a 9 and all of a sudden everyone kicked into high gear getting ready for the delivery. At this point, my contractions were right on top of each other and I wasn't getting any break. My nurse had compassion on me and finally turned down the pitocin.

Again I had to wait... this time for my doctor to arrive. It must not have been that long, but I remember saying over and over "when is he going to get here?" I had a strong but not irresistible urge to push. Mostly I just wanted the pain to be over with. He got to my room probably around 1:45 and I was allowed to push with contractions (which thankfully I was getting a break in between again). I was having all of the many normal symptoms of transition (which even while having I was able to recognize). Pushing didn't seem to help the pain, but at least I felt like I was making progress toward ending the pain. I think I pushed through 3 or 4 contractions. By now, I was really in so much pain that I was reacting purely on instinct. I am embarrassed to admit that with my last contraction of pushes I screamed like a feral cat through the whole thing. I knew what I was doing in one sense and yet couldn't stop myself either. I can never remember screaming like that in my entire life.

Kaitlyn Shea was born at 1:54 pm with no complications. I was so emotionally distraught that that I could barely comprehend her birth. I have some funny pictures of me and her right after she was born, my face pretty much says it all! Lol! Despite my feeling of losing control, my husband reassures me that my pushing and delivery was very controlled and I only had a 1st degree tear along my old scar line. The epidural medicine never really kicked in. I had total control of my legs (though slightly tingly) and my Dr had to numb me up to sew the small tear. So I guess I can say I've experienced close to an unmedicated birth and to be honest I didn't find it appealing at all. The pain was severe, but more then that it was how it made me respond. I fear/hate losing control more then anything. While many other women share this fear, often they maintain control by having natural childbirth at home or in a hospital. I'm strangely the opposite. I feel that many of modern medicine's interventions help me to better maintain control and have a better birth experience. However, when all is said and done, my experience matters little. What matters is that both Kaity and I were healthy and whole.

Recovery went well and though I did have a strange headache, either from all my crying/emotional breakdown or the epidural, it was pretty easy. My husband was amazing and stayed strong for me the whole way. My mom too, who was waiting just outside, didn't seem freaked out by all my screaming. Their support was invaluable. We had a nice overnight in the hospital and were ready to go the next day.

So that is my birth story in all it's glory. It's not the type of story I wanted to "end" on, but I am realizing that even when things go more to my liking I still am not in control. God is and I am grateful for four healthy children.

Brand new baby Kaitlyn.

Me and Kaitlyn after she had been evaluated and I had calmed down. :)

Going home outfit.

Believe it or not... this is a 0-5lb preemie outfit. :)

Kaitlyn Shea

2011-06-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

Since it has been a full 4 weeks since our baby girl was born and now that I have a new computer to make posting all that much easier, I guess I don't have any more excuses for not posting pics and the birth story. Sorry to all those who have been waiting anxiously. :)

the previous pictures were taken at 5 days old by courtesy of Emily Hill Photography.

First bath in washPOD. 13 days old

chillin' in the swing. 20 days old

Long baby. 22 days old

20 days old

Five

2011-06-12T21:42:00.000-07:00

Today our big boy turns 5 and in continuing with tradition he went to a baseball game with his daddy. This will be the third year in a row that they've done this. It makes for a great birthday for D and a fun Father's day gift for Kyle. This year they went to Coors Field for a Rockies game. It was D's first time to Coors field and he was very excited, though Kyle may have been just as excited. Dean got a baseball autographed by a few of the players and got to see all his favorite players play. I can't believe it's already been five years since he was born. I look forward to the next five years as we move through elementary school and more baseball games. I pray that as D grows in mind and body, he will also grow in the grace and knowledge of God.

June 12, 2006

June 12, 2007

June 12, 2008

June 12, 2009

June 12, 2010

June 12, 2011

All two.

2011-05-07T15:19:00.000-07:00

Our sweet surprise boy turned two today. I am continually amazed at how different each of my children are. J is truly all boy and all two. He is an amazingly messy eater, fearless, and continually dirty. He is also my sweetest charmer. His vocabulary is expanding daily and he knows just how to say the right things while batting those big brown eyes to get whatever he wants. It is such a blessing too to see him running and walking along with D and A. It's hard to believe that just 5 months ago he couldn't walk. He now is super confident and his personality as blossomed since starting to walk. J spends most days just trying to keep up with D and A. He so wants to be "big" like them and proves this by being fiercely independent. Perhaps the thing I love best about J is his love of music. He is always commandeering his sister's cd player to listen and dance to music. He can sing Amazing Grace and the Star Spangled Banner all the way through. You can't understand all his words, but you can still tell that is what he's singing. Thank you God for blessing us with such a wonderful little boy even when we weren't expecting it!

May 7, 2009

May 7, 2010

May 7, 2011

Just as blessed

2011-05-02T10:04:00.000-07:00

Sitting and pondering this morning the beauty of grace and friendships. I was so blessed to have two baby showers this past weekend, hosted by family and friends. I think may appreciate these things even more as this is the fourth baby. There is somewhat of a cultural expectation for showers with the first and maybe second, but then after that everyone (including yourself) feels that you are pretty well set. Yet it's nice to get new things and new "inventions" for each baby. I am humbled and grateful for the generosity of my family and friends. I feel well loved! Thank you!

New season

2011-04-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

I am ready for a new season on so many different levels. I am ready for spring and summer, where grass is green, flowers bloom, trees provide leafy shade, gardens grow, and I can send my kids to play outside all day long. I am also ready to be done with pregnancies. I am very grateful that I've had four relatively easy, problem free pregnancies and have never experienced a miscarriage, but I am ready to move on. I want to have energy to play with my kids and think of creative ways to engage them in what God is doing in and around us. I'm tired of just being grateful to get the "bare necessities" of life done. I realized recently that I've taken only 2-3 pictures of my kids since Christmas. When my focus becomes so much about just surviving the day, I fail to notice and appreciate all the little beauty around me. It really does grieve my spirit and yet it's so hard to combat when all I want to do is sleep. :( I look forward to enjoying my four children in each of their stages of life and feeling good enough to appreciate them. Again I thank God for this season of new life and am now ready to just enjoy those lives He's given me.

Musings of my pregnancy brain...

2011-03-21T15:39:00.000-07:00

So here I am AGAIN facing the prospect of another labor and delivery. In the grand scheme of childraising it is such a small time frame and yet such a big deal (to me at least). Probably most of you who read this blog already know my birth stories, but I'm going to offer a bit of an analogy about them and me.

As I have been thinking about my upcoming delivery, I've once again been struggling with how my last three deliveries went. Not cause anything really bad happened, but because I either have disappointed myself or I feel others' expectations of me. When I was an L&D nurse I thought through this (somewhat tongue in cheek) analogy of childbirth. Pretty much only those who live in the Pikes Peak region will get this, but others will get the general idea. Here goes:

There a three generally accepted ways of getting to the top of Pikes Peak and I would argue their similarly three ways of delivering a baby (or maybe more specifically three experiences of). Let's start with the first,

1.) Good ole' fashioned hiking. It is 13 miles to the top of Pikes Peak and is certaintly not for the faint of heart. One has to be in a decent amount of shape to make it, though as EMS personnel will tell you many who aren't still try. It's long, it's tiring, but at the end you can say that you climbed Pikes Peak. If you're really in good shape you may run the trail both up and back.
      I'm going to correlate this experience with Pikes Peak to natural childbirth. It can be long, it can be tiring, but at the end you can say you did it without any pain meds and probably minimal medical intervention. Fans of this way say you get to really "experience the journey" as you take each step and it's all the more fulfilling when you get to the "top". There is some training that is involved in order to do this successfully and one does need to be in fairly good health. Many proponents argue that this is really the only safe way to go even with the risks that may pose themselves along the way.

2.)The Cog Railway. There is a cute little train that will take you chug-chugging up the side of Pikes Peak in relative ease and comfort. It's definitely faster then hiking and you have the luxury of really taking in the sights instead of just occasionally stopping to look up as you catch your breath hiking. There is even a little tour guide to point things out along the way. Of course there are dangers in taking the train and one no longer has control over how fast or slow you go, but if you trust the engineer you will get to the top safe and sound.
        This, in my mind, is like going to the hospital, getting the epidural and generally letting the medical staff run your delivery. They still involve you in the process (like a tour guide), but for the most part you sit back, relax, and enjoy the journey. Do things go wrong sometimes? Yep, no journey is perfect, but for those who don't need/want the fulfillment of "hiking", this seems a happy middle ground. I am comfortable enough to enjoy the process and though I don't get the "Natural Childbirth" badge at the end, I do get a happy healthy baby and most likely an experience that was enjoyable. Again with any "path" you choose there are risks you take. Interventions often lead to more interventions. If you don't trust the medical staff (your engineers) then you are really going to feel out of control and almost "kidnapped". This route isn't for everyone, but is still a viable option.

3.) The Pikes Peak Highway. Want to really get the "climb" over with? Just drive to the top. In about an hour, in the comfort of your own car, you can reach the summit of Pikes Peak and be taking pictures and sipping hot cocoa while the poor "schmucks" who are hiking are barely to Barr camp. Granted the scenery goes by a lot faster and you don't get to really savor the experience, but then you are at the top and done with plenty of energy to look around.
       This is probably where, like all analogies, mine breaks down. :) The closest comparison I can come to is electing to have a c-section. You're in, you're out and you're done. Of course there are many more risks then with the other two (but so are there with racing up the side of a 13K ft mtn). In a c-section of course you are really not in control and the invasiveness of the whole procedure can be pretty scary. I would imagine it being like someone else driving you up the side of Pikes' Peak. There are a lot of steep drop offs and one must really trust their driver. In my mind, the risks outweigh the benefits, though many still choose this "path" of childbirth.

So how does this relate to my experiences?

Well, with my first I was bound and determined to "hike the mountain". I took a Bradley childbearing course, ate the right diet, still gained too much weight, but really tried to prepare myself for the journey. As it turned out I didn't even get to the half-way point (dilation-wise) when I gave up and decided to climb on the "railway" of medical intervention. Now granted it took me 24 hours to get to that near half-way point and I was emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted. I knew I still had a ways to go and figured if I didn't throw in the towel then I was going to end up on the "highway" with a c-section. It took another 18 hours on the "railway" before I delivered a healthy albeit bruised baby boy just minutes before they were going to take me for a c-section. Needless to say that while I was happy with the result, I was not pleased with my experience. My "hiking" was miserable and I didn't enjoy one step of that journey. Once I got on the "railway" I slept for the first 12 of those 18 hours, so I missed most of the journey then too. I also felt extreme guilt at my failure to be a "real woman" and get the "Natural Childbirth badge". So much guilt in fact that I didn't show at my Bradley class reunion.

When it came time for my second, (only 16 months later) I was terrified of repeating my previous experience. So much so, that I went ahead and scheduled my ride on the "railway" (an induction). I did wait until 3 days after my due date to assuage some guilt left over by my natural childbirth class. It was a quick 6 hour labor total and was an honestly wonderful experience. I was able to enjoy the time with my husband and felt great after delivery. I remember thinking to myself "So this is why women have more then one baby". My baby was healthy and I have good memories of the entire "journey"

My third delivery was a bit of a surprise trip on the "railway". I went in for my 39 wk checkup and they found that J was in some distress and hadn't grown in the past couple of weeks. As doctors are good at, mine felt the risks of waiting were out weighed by the benefits of inducing that night. So once again I was on the "train". I think I actually got more sleep that night then the nights before any of my other deliveries, which is saying something for a hospital. In the morning, when they started the pitocin, I had another relatively quick 6 hour labor and with 3 easy pushes J was out. This was by far my best experience. I laughed a lot through this labor and even my water broke while laughing. My husband and I had a nice time together and once again my recovery was quick and easy.

As I prepare for delivery #4, I still have that ideal of a quick enjoyable natural delivery in my head so I'm not pre-ordering a ticket on the "train". Yet, I have to take a hard look at myself and wonder if maybe I'm just a "train" kind of person. I like having time and comfort to enjoy the journey and weirdly feel more "in control" with a monitor on me and a heartbeat I can hear constantly. Yes, I wish they would let me eat and the beds were more comfortable, but those are luxuries I give up to have a relatively pain free delivery. No, I may never get to proudly wear the badge; but I will have had some good experiences in childbirth surrounded by friends (yes, I've had an RN that was a good friend at each of my deliveries and my OB) and my loving husband. Am I a bad mom, lazy ill-informed woman, who is being duped by a corrupt health care system? No, I don't think so. I just think I'm not the "hiking" type. I guess this fourth and final delivery will tell.

If you are still reading at this point, God bless you and thanks for letting me process what's been in my head.

*By the way... I have hiked to the top of Pikes Peak; but I took the back way which is about half the length of the front way. It was a good experience and one that I'm glad I can say I did.

A groundhog day existence

2011-02-23T09:26:00.000-08:00

Recently a friend was able to put into words exactly how I've been feeling lately. It feels like I live a "Groundhog Day" existence (the movie, not the actual holiday). Everyday is an almost exact duplicate of the one before. The same toys are picked up, the same clothes washed, the same food prepared(esp. when one's husband isn't home often for dinner), the same books read, the same Leap frog video watched. You get the picture. I cherish the weekends (when my husband isn't working) just for a break in the monotony, and special date nights or events are even better. I know that soon enough my days will be so varied and different I'll long slightly for these days of sameness. I will continue to try to cherish the present, even when it seems to stretch on forever!

In other unrelated news... A seems to be regressing in her potty training (and baby sister isn't even here yet). Lately she's pooed or peed her pants everyday. She really doesn't seem to care and when I put her back in pull-ups or diapers she doesn't care either. I know this girl is way smart enough to have figured things out, so it must just be an attention getting thing. Either way, I'm tired of it all. D was SOOO much easier to train!

New Year, New Baby

2011-01-24T20:59:00.000-08:00

We found out on January 6th that we will be adding another baby girl to our family in May. We are excited to have such a balanced mix of siblings and are curious to see how little girl #2 changes things around here. She is healthy and long (like all our kids) and they see no cause for worry from the U/S. For the first time we were able to get some 4D pictures of our baby. Here's one:

The placenta is covering part of her forehead, but at least you get the idea. I think she is going to look a lot like A. At least I see a similar nose and mouth. :) We can't wait to meet her!

More Christmas pics

2011-01-24T20:54:00.000-08:00

Opening stockings.

A showing off her new headbands.

J kissing his new puppy "Eddie". J hasn't been attached to any stuffed animals until now. He sleeps with Eddie and blankie now!

Showing off their Rockies paraphernalia from G. Grandma Griggs.

Probably one of D's favorite Christmas presents. The Leap Frog 'Scribble and Write'. It has helped him a lot with his handwriting!

Christmas '10

2011-01-24T20:41:00.000-08:00

We celebrated a nice quiet Christmas at home. In the weeks prior to Christmas, I talked my loving husband into repainting our downstairs family room and hanging new lights to give it a warmer feel and a nice place to spend Christmas. He did a fantastic job and I can't wait to tackle other projects around the house.

Our newly painted fireplace with new embroidered stockings.

Our gorgeous live tree. It has been awhile since we've had a live tree this big!

The kids were blessed with many nice gifts and were grateful for them all. I was very proud of the fact that they seemed quite content after the first few and had to be encouraged to open the rest. I can't really take credit for their lack of consumerism as I think it's happened more by default then intention; but I must say it did my heart good to see them focus on the real meaning of Christmas and not just the loot they were getting.

We had some of Kyle's family over Christmas night for games and did enjoy a traditional meal with just the kids earlier in the day. We had tried to find some friends at church who didn't have a place to go to come over, but as it turned out everyone had plans. Oh well! :)

J, D and A opening presents from the Francis side of the family on Christmas eve.

They were enthralled by the Pez dispensers from Aunt Mindy.

D and his new Veggie Tale from Grandma Francis

A and her new book from Grandma Francis

J already diving into his new books

If she weren't holding a book you might think this was a mug shot or something. Silly girl!

Of course the candy gets her to smile!

Christmas Eve service outfits

December 2010

2011-01-24T20:24:00.000-08:00

My first attempt at a group picture for our Christmas card. After several more failed attempts we decided to go with individual shots and wait to get baby #4's pic in Jan for a New Year's card. As things are going though it will probably be a Valentine's or Easter card. :)

After a very long wait (for us) for snow we finally got enough to justify bundling up and going out to play in it. It was bitter cold though so they weren't out for long. Of course everytime we get a dusting now they want to go out in it. *sigh*

D gives new meaning here to the term "Winter ball". Lol!

D and A love to take turns checking the mailbox now. Not sure there was anything in there that day, but he had to check!

Here is one of my first photos with my new iPhone. I was pleasantly surprised at the quality I got. Isn't D getting to be such a handsome boy?!

These are some of my attempts for individual shots for our upcoming family card. :)

Bad Blogger

2011-01-24T19:58:00.000-08:00

How quickly two months have passed by and I haven't been on here to blog about life. In all honesty I've gotten on to check other's blogs and have thought about what I should do, but just haven't had the energy. December and into January was a rough month or so for us as we were hit hard by sickness. Strangely enough it really wasn't the kids that were sick, but rather K and I. My hubby is NEVER sick and was sick 3 out of 6 weekends. On top of that I've entered my 2nd trimester, which for many is the best trimester, but for me not so much. I am finally over the morning sickness, but now struggle with fatigue (or continue to), congestion, and just plain getting big!

So all that to say.... when life isn't going well or as I'd expected I tend not to want to write about it. Especially in so "public" a place as a blog. I'm not a very good journalist type as it is (sporadic at best throughout my life), but especially if I don't feel that I have positive things to share. I guess I find other forums to "display my dirty laundry" :).

Anyway, that is why I haven't been on. Obviously the fact that I am blogging indicates that life has gotten somewhat better, at least enough to motivate me to catch up. I still don't find myself to be the "best" pregnant person and still struggle with the effects of the Fall. *side note* My theology says that while our redemption has been completed in Christ we have yet to see the complete fulfillment of it and won't until He returns, which communicates to me that while He tarries or I'm still here on this earth I am still under many of the original curses of the Fall. (wonder where this rant came from? check out my FB status. :) )

So despite being a less then gracious preggo mama, I will do my best to post in word and picture our adventures of the last few months!

Retirement Plan

2010-12-01T13:48:00.000-08:00

A lot of parents joke about their kids becoming famous (as movie stars, singers or sports figures) and taking care of them in retirement, but we take it seriously! ;)

NOT really, but the way we grow boys around here you would think so. Today I took J and A in for their check-ups. Both are healthy and very normal for their age (developmentally) minus J's gross motor skills of course. A is our tall, thin girl at 38.5in and only 32.5 lbs. J on the other hand is 28.5lbs but 36.25in tall!! He's only two inches shorter then Abi. He is also 3/4 of an inch taller then D was at this age! Volleyball and B-Ball here we come! lol! Of course we are just happy to have everyone healthy and growing, even if we will have to take out loans to feed them as teenagers! Just last night K said "Maybe we should have another girl, they don't eat as much!" :)

Times Change

2010-11-16T14:34:00.000-08:00

Four and half years ago when I had our first child very few people in our world were "wearing babies" or cloth diapering. All of us were on the look out for the lightest, coolest looking car seat/carrier cause we knew we'd be lugging it around for a year or so. For those who were going to be active with their babies it was all about the Baby Bjorn. Not one to miss a trend (snort!), I went out and bought a brand new Baby Bjorn and did use it quite a bit with our first. Yet with each child it's gotten less and less use. Probably because my original intention for it (long walks in the evenings) were few and far between. With A, I was given an Over the Shoulder Baby Holder ring sling (no joke, that is the name) and used it some with her. I always felt that it was too bulky and never felt that it was really secure. So it too got used less and less. When J came along, I tried all of the above plus a generic Moby wrap type thing and hated them all. Just recently I bought a Sachi baby mai tai carrier from a friend. Alas, my kids are too tall for it and hate it!

Now that we are expecting baby #4 I'm finding out that NOBODY carries baby in a car seat anymore. It's ALL about the baby wearing. And really I'm not all that excited to carry that #$%^ car seat/carrier anyway. So now to figure what baby carrier to buy. There are now more versions of baby wearing then you can shake a stick at and one seemingly for every age. However, I really don't want four different baby wearing/carrying things. So far what I've found is that the best all stages/ages carrier is the Beco butterfly, which I really like, though the price has me in significant sticker shock. REALLY? $140 just to carry your baby? The Boba is similar for only $100 but doesn't offer cute designer fabrics (like they look any better with poop and puke on them). The Boba makers only recommend their SSC (soft-sided carrier) for ages 3 months and up and state that a wrap type carry is best. Both of these brands (Beco and Boba) are recommended over the Ergo baby carrier, so I guess that rules out that one. In looking at wraps or slings (which I haven't had good experience with)for the tiny newborn, the two that rise to the top are the Sleepy Wrap and the Hotsling. The Sleep wrap is the exact same design as the Moby, but looks easier to use as you wrap it around yourself TIGHT first and then put baby in. The material has plenty of stretch to hold baby snug against you. Though I'm not thrilled at the idea of the whole wrap and tie thing, it does look cozy and is reasonably priced at $40-$60. The Hotsling is a slimmer version of the the ring sling, without the ring. You have to buy size specific and I guess sizing can be an issue. It does look easier to carrier a tiny one around in then the wrap and lots less bulky then a ring sling. It is readily available at such places like Target for $40.

Sometimes I wish I could just try them all first and then decided which was worth the money. I will have to rely solely on the opinions I find online and all my baby-wearing friends and neighbors.

In giving suggestions please keep in mind that my babies grow like weeds and while may still be in the weight range for a certain item are a good 6-12 in. too tall. J grew out of the Bjorn before he was one, and neither he nor A fit in the mai tai (even though they are within the weight range). The material doesn't go far enough up their backs and it feels like they are going to fall out. So I need something that can either grow with them or accommodates 3ft tall 18 mo olds. :)

Any ideas and opinions are very much appreciated.

6 full years!

2010-10-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

We try to get away every anniversary, even if just for the night, to recharge and reconnect. This year K surprised me with a local getaway that included a cool rental car, amazing flowers, a delicious meal, and plenty of rest! Someday I hope to go on a cruise or something a little bit longer for our anniversary, but so far in marriage I've either been pregnant or nursing on our anniversaries. This year was no exception. So while we could leave the kids, I didn't have much energy. Sleeping in a hotel with room service (for breakfast), a movie and a large jetted tub was a dream.

The cool muscle car K picked me up in.

At dinner at the Briarhurst Manor.

Red roses and Calla lilies.

Happy Sixth Anniversary!

K REALLY enjoyed driving this car. :)

Funny poses!

Red Robin

2010-10-29T13:11:00.000-07:00

We decided to take A out for dinner on her actual birthday this year. Not so much because she asked for it as Mama wasn't feeling well enough to cook. :) Red Robin seems to be a kid-friendly restaurant so that's where we headed. We realized it was the first time A and J had ever been to eat in an actual sit-down restaurant and the first time as a family we had gone out. Wow! It was exhausting. The kids were generally well behaved and enjoyed themselves immensely, but it was still a lot of work. This may be a once a year occurrence for us! They do still talk about it though, so while it was hard on the parents it was well appreciated by the kiddos!

Lovin' Red Robin

Sweet lil' birthday girl.

J even enjoyed himself.

A with the Red Robin. She would only get so close.

Very focused on her coloring.

Happy boy!

A watching as the staff sing Happy Birthday to her.

Sharing with mama!

Red Robin was understanding enough to give us TWO free birthday sundaes to avoid any jealousy. D devoured his!

Princess party

2010-10-29T13:01:00.000-07:00

A, being our only girl, is definitely the princess of the house. She wanted a princess birthday party. Here she is in all her glory!

My first attempt at a Princess/Doll cake. Didn't turn out too badly!

Balloons are such great fun!

Guests arriving and getting into the balloon action.

A showing off her princess crown that she decorated.

All the girls and their crowns.

Opening presents...

with help from her guests.

Soon they just opened and Abi watched. :)

Happy Birthday...

to you...dear A.

Jack's Message....

2010-10-13T14:35:00.000-07:00

Yes.... that's right we are expecting baby #4, making our sweet little Jack a big brother. We are excited to meet this little one that God has given us to complete our family. As is typical, the girls are rooting for another girl and the boys for another boy! :) We appreciate your prayers as we go through the next 9 months and prepare for adding one more! Thank you!

A (Fairly Lame) Ode to Mothers

2010-10-12T13:37:00.000-07:00

A (Fairly Lame) Ode to Mothers

from Out of the Spin Cycle: Devotions to Lighten your Mother Load by Jen Hatmaker

An ode to the marvelous woman called "Mother", though not one of us is exactly like another.
From the second we're born to the minute we die our preferences are as limitless as stars in the sky.

We might have been perfectly gracious before, but childbirth entered us into the Mommy War.
Rather than letting everyone else be we criticize parenting that isn't exactly like...me.

So once and for all let me put this to rest none of us owns the title of "best."
Natural childbirth does not make you a hippy, epidurals are not just for women who want to feel trippy. In a bathtub with a doula or in a hospital bed, we all got a baby with limbs and a head.

Nursing is great if nothing goes wrong, but some nipples turn inward and refuse to play along.
This is a choice for each mom -- it's her route so it's just A + B and everyone else can C their way out.

Schedules and timers do not make you cruel feeding on demand does not make you a fool.
In the nursery with a monitor or in the family bed every chick gets to pick where her baby lays his head.

If I see one more mom roll her eyes at "organic..." "Partially hydrogenated" throws some of us into panic.
But neither judge Sonic burgers and fries some of us just want to enjoy food before we die.

Preschool, home school, public, or Montessori listen my friends, and I'll tell you a story:
Two moms differed on favorite school trends their kids turned out pretty much the same. The end.

If a girl gets the title of "mom" accidentally the worst thing we can do is treat her judgmentally.
How about some love, some help, some advice? She needs our love and we shouldn't think twice.

Discipline through various methods will prevail. Look, we're all just trying to keep our kids out of jail. These things are just preferences, not right or wrong.
What matters more is teaching our kids to get along--
To love and to share, to speak gently and kind, to obey so that mom won't go out of her mind.

Showing them Jesus is our common ground teaching them how he can always be found.
He's present in public school and Waldorf (so trendy)
He's over at Whole Foods but also at Wendy's.
Jesus never cared about these sorts of things, it's our hearts that he wants and the worship we bring.

It's time for us moms to declare a truce regardless if we buy Capri Sun or 100 percent juice.
My way is not your way, and your way isn't mine, but both of our kids will turn out just fine.

Rather than judging and looking down our noses let's enjoy the common ground motherhood poses.
As believers, we all love the same good Lord. We all have children who tell us "I'm bored."

We all need more sleep than these five tiny hours. Most of us struggle to find time for a shower.
We haven't been to the bathroom alone in an age. Our mothers have all told us, "Relax, this is just a stage."

We all love our babies so much we could die. We'd take a bullet for each one without batting an eye. Though we are different, we're in the same tribe.
Motherhood requires a similar vibe -- love and affection, sacrifice and grace.
Laughter, which keeps the whole mechanism in place.

Though different, by the grace of God, I suspect: ALL our children will rise up and call us...collect."

Into things...

2010-09-13T09:47:00.000-07:00

D and A got into my camera the other day. The pics they took weren't half bad... for preschoolers!

School time

2010-09-13T09:45:00.000-07:00

We started school with D and A last week. Because of a variety of events we only got 2 out of 3 days in, but I figure a slow start is best. They love to sit and learn letters, numbers, sing songs, etc. I am quickly learning how they learn and their personalities as well. D is easily discouraged and needs breaks often to help him refocus, especially when working on handwriting. He read his first Hooked on Phonics book today all by himself, so we are getting somewhere. It is fun to come up with activities that connect them back to the letter and number of the week, but I find that we get through them quickly and only do about an hour's worth of school a day. I suppose though for a 4 and 3 year old that's plenty. :)

Our school corner.

The whole school area, complete with school desk.

Happy Class!

Love...

2010-08-30T10:04:00.000-07:00

K's younger brother got married this weekend. It made me nostalgic for the days of freedom, before kids. I think my three preschoolers are starting to get to me. :) They are good little sinners for the most part, but I miss having the time and resources to get away with my husband. We still do manage once a year or so, but it just doesn't seem like enough. *sigh! Here are some pics from the day:

Just like Daddy!

J and Grammie waiting for pictures.

A loving being all dressed up!

Wearing Daddy's hat.

G, E, and C hanging out.

Funny how we all bring cameras to a photo shoot. :)

N really was more excited to be there then this pic reveals. :)

The cousins were the first ones out on the dance floor and the last to leave.

A was fascinated by the live band.

D found his tie a handy thing to chew on. Argh!

The kids really did enjoy themselves.

Moving

2010-08-23T13:45:00.000-07:00

After five years in our second home, we've moved! We were definitely ready for a better house for our growing children and to be closer to family and new friends, but it was also bitter sweet to leave behind the house that we brought all three children home from the hospital to. Here's to new memories in a new place! :)

Saying goodbye to our first family house!

Dean saying goodbye to his Tigger room!

Our wonderful 1970's split-level. (I'm pretty sure I never thought I'd say that!)

We are on a corner lot and have a ton of room!

The beautiful flowers by our mailbox.

Borrowed furniture on our lovely patio.

The garden we inherited. We are eating lots of squash and green beans these days.

The swing set/play set.

Grassy play area in the back.

Wildflower garden.

The sandbox under the deck. This is a nice cool place to play.

Our two great decks. They need some updating, but hopefully by next summer they will be ready to use. There is a great view of the peak from the top deck.

An attached and roomy garage!

Hello new house!

I'm not quite ready to put up picks of the inside yet, but will when things are settled a little more. It is an amazing story of God's creative providence how we've come to live in this house. Let me know if you want to hear the story.

Summer 2010

2010-07-21T09:58:00.000-07:00

The three musketeers!

My sweet baby

D and A

Our new little crawler venturing out.

Siblings and Friends

2010-07-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

Probably because I didn't have the privilege of growing up with siblings who were close to my age, I love watching my three play and interact together. One of the best times for them is bath time. So yes here are some of the most dreaded childhood pics... Bath pictures! :)

A and J

J loves to play in the tub.

D and A

DAJ

Something funny!

Not sure what D is doing, but the other two are watching intently!

First Season of T-ball

2010-07-21T09:26:00.000-07:00

D has been doing very well in his first season of t-ball. Like with everything, it took him awhile to figure things out, but now that he's comfortable he loves it and is one of the better players on the team. He comes home every week from practice and games saying "I hit a home run!" D is playing in a Y league so there really is no score and no winners or losers, but it's fun for him to think he's hitting home runs!

This was at D's first practice. He was more interested in finding dandelions to pick then being around the other kids.

Waiting to field a ball at practice.

Going after the ball with Daddy watching.

Standing with Coach Missy during the first game, waiting to catch a ball.

In the "outfield" with Daddy during the first game.

On deck!

First at bat!

Playing second.

Birthday pics

2010-07-21T09:07:00.000-07:00

Our summer has gotten kind of crazy with us moving and all, so I'm way behind in posting pics. Here are some from D's birthday!

Waiting for cake.

My second attempt at ice cream cake. A huge success. Rocky Road on a graham craker crust with royal icing. Yum!

D was very excited about the cake. It isn't a birthday until you have cake!

Opening up his new Rockies jersey.

Very proud boy!

Dean with his new batting helmet and Rockies jersey. Ready for T-ball!

Four

2010-06-11T23:16:00.000-07:00

Today my first baby turns four. Where has the time gone? It really doesn't seem like all that long ago I was sitting through an excrutiatingly hot June while being embarrassingly "over" pregnant. And then after what seemed like forever, our precious son was born.

3 days old

He has changed in ways I didn't think he would and in other ways is becoming who I saw long ago. D is shy with new kids his own age, but very bold and friendly with adults. D's two passions in life are books and baseball. He can spend hours doing either. D is on the verge of reading and has memorized some words that he sees frequently. It is sweet to see him now teaching his sister letters and their sounds.

1st Birthday

Lately D and I have been working on social niceties and general manners. Basic things like what to say when someone asks your name and how old you are. Funny how so many things I don't remember learning and must have been taught somewhere. It brings joy to my heart to see D learning and growing in knowledge and character. D does still struggle to be kind to his sister (who frankly is a pill at times), but is super sweet with his baby brother.

2nd Birthday

D loves to help, to feel special, to be recognized, and to just be a boy. I am happy and proud of the little man he is becoming. Yet nervous and a little bit scared of the responsibility K and I share in raising him. Thank God for His grace that covers my many many imperfections.

3rd Birthday

Four years old!

Happy Birthday my beautiful boy!

Season of Extremes

2010-05-22T15:02:00.000-07:00

I'm not usually one to complain about the weather much as I grew up here (CO) and am used to a wide range of weather even in one day. But maybe I'm getting old or something cause I'm rather put out that we went from 40-50's last week to 85!!!! today. Hellooo! A little gradual warm up would be nice. At least enough time to have the HVAC guy come out to get our swamp cooler going. Sigh! Our house is in the high seventies right now and I have no way to cool it off. Poor babies trying to sleep too.

Ok.. going to practice a spirit of thankfulness and thank God for the warm sun and wind that is rapidly spreading seed pods everywhere. I guess it's His way of "planting". :) I have to keep reminding myself that His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are sooo much higher then mine.

Out of sight, out of mind

2010-05-17T20:05:00.000-07:00

Today, as she has for the last several days, A did not take a nap and instead tore her room apart. For some reason ever since we broke her thumb sucking habit last week, she has had a hard time going to sleep. I suppose she's just trying to figure out how to soothe herself now. Anyway, when it was time to get up I had her clean up her room, which she did a good job of. I went to check her work and I looked in the closet and found it still a mess. Here's how the ensuing conversation went:

Me: A, what about your closet? It's still a mess.

A: Oh, just close the door.

Me: But it's still messy.

A: Close your eyes?

Lol! How is she figuring these things out already?!

Our Third 1st!

2010-05-12T20:12:00.000-07:00

J turned one last Friday and we celebrated on Saturday with a small family party and an ice cream cake (J doesn't really know how to chew food yet). He got a few nice gifts and lots and lots of hugs and kisses. He is definitely still a baby and seems to enjoy being treated as such. He says "mama" and "dada" and a bunch of other babble. He signs "all done" and claps his hands with gusto. J likes to sit and "read" books and play with loud music making toys. He is not crawling or really moving at all yet. He only rolls from back to front if it happens by accident. He hates being on his tummy and when put that way ends up lying on his side with his head on his arm. J is over 25lbs and so does have a lot to hold up. He's wearing 18-24 mo clothes and looks like he'll be every bit as big as D. We are so blessed to have him in our lives and, though there was a time we couldn't imagine having another one (especially so soon!), we wouldn't trade him for the world. He is a joy to be around! Thank you God for your surprises!

Springish Cleaning

2010-05-02T19:29:00.000-07:00

So after two months of slowly finding things to clean I think I'm done with my spring cleaning. I've scrubbed (hands and knees) and polished all the hard surface floors, washed windows, cleaned ceiling fans, cleaned fridge and freezer, washed and ironed curtains, and dusted some baseboards. I suppose I could take everything out of my kitchen cupboards and wipe them out or finish dusting the baseboards or clean the carpets, but..... does it really need to be done? What do all of you do for spring cleaning? Anything I've missed that just SHOULD be done? Let me know. :)

Finally Well

2010-05-02T19:25:00.000-07:00

After what seems like an eternity, but was only about 8 weeks all of the kiddos are finally well. No more coughing, runny noses, goopy eyes, etc. PTL! I am happy that my children are well and no longer suffering from those nasty viruses, but I am also convicted that the real reason I'm so elated that they are well is that them being sick is very hard work for me and rather an inconvenience to my plans. Yet what else am I supposed to be doing then carrying for my kids. God has given them to me for this time to train, raise, and care for them and by my actions and attitude I tell God that I have bigger and better plans for myself and as long as the kids don't get in my way then I'm fine. Ouch! Forgive me God for my selfishness once again and help to live and rejoice in living in your plan for me. Also thank You for their health! It is by your grace that they all have a base level of good health. Help me to not take that for granted.

Extreme Makeover: Box Edition

2010-04-30T19:45:00.000-07:00

The other day we got a big shipment of diapers and thus had a big box to play with. I am horrible and finer arts and crafts type things, but I think I make a mean box playhouse. What can't you do with ducktape?:)

J's new do

2010-03-26T20:35:00.000-07:00

After many cancellations we finally got the boys to our family hairdresser for cuts. D was about 6 weeks over do and had enough hair on his head to make a nice mop. :) J was starting to look like a love child from the 60's with his long mullet-like do, so he got his first haircut. He looks so boy-like now. J held very still and didn't cry a bit. What a sweet and cute little boy! Thanks Ms. D!

'da Boys!

Little man

Just like daddy!

Snowman weather

2010-03-24T20:20:00.000-07:00

Last night we got an amazing 4-5 inches of snow in about 2 hours. It is that wet sticky spring snow, which is perfect for making snowmen. So today I bundled up A and D and we set out to make a giant snowman. It was a lot of fun and they are both still talking about their snowman.

Usually when I'm outside with the kids I'm counting the minutes until we go inside. My kids haven't been great about using their imagination when outside and somehow lack of sleep and other motherly ailments have seemed to kill mine. Today, however, they played and played and I built and built. The time flew by and both them and I got some much needed outdoor exercise.

M.I.P.

2010-03-19T20:10:00.000-07:00

D finished up his T-ball clinic today, so all of us went to watch him play. He did really well aside from being distracted by the soccer camp in the other half of the gym. A, of course, had to be as much in the middle of things as possible. She ended up standing by K as he helped coach. At the end of the class the Coach handed out little certificates and treats. D was named Most Improved Player. He went from crying on the sidelines to being one of the best fielders. Way to go little buddy! He is now constantly asking when he can go back to t-ball. The actual season doesn't start until May. For a 3 year old, that's a long ways off!

Warm-up

A standing near K

Swing!!

Star shortstop.

Awards Ceremony

J, the cheerful spectator.

Shrinking

2010-03-15T18:07:00.000-07:00

Today I found out at a routine Dr's check-up that I'm a whole inch shorter then I thought I was or then I used to be. I can remember many days growing up when I would've rejoiced to be shrinking, but now I'm aghast! This means of course that I'm heavier then I thought I was and need to lose more to get into a healthy range. gulp! I need a serious boost of motivation to cut out some favs from my diet (i.e. cheese, butter, mayo, chocolate, etc,) and work out! Where or where to find it? :(

D&A

2010-03-09T13:04:00.000-08:00

J

2010-03-09T13:01:00.000-08:00

D

2010-03-09T12:59:00.000-08:00

A

2010-03-09T12:54:00.000-08:00

First Day of Spring Training

2010-03-08T12:33:00.000-08:00

The Colorado Rockies may have started Spring Training last Thursday, but here in the Fisk house it started today. D went to his first T-ball clinic at the Y! He was very excited to go, but then got a little scared once he got there. He was also a little confused. Why were they playing baseball in a basketball court? :) Once he warmed up to the situation and the coach got the balls out then D was ready. He is bigger then all the other kids, the only one wearing a glove, and threw farther then anyone else. Now if we can just get his social and verbal skills to catch up with his physical ones. I think t-ball is going to be a great opportunity for him to catch up socially, emotionally, and verbally. It's only when we deal with others that we learn about ourselves. Time for D to start learning! :)

First Day of T-ball!

We made a Baseball diamond with Duck tape in the playroom so D could practice running the bases and other fundamentals!

Lessons from Lent

2010-03-02T20:49:00.000-08:00

It has been two weeks now that I've given up FB, blogging, and computer games for Lent (with a break on feast days). It has been a great experience for me. I find I'm not wasting time doing truly unproductive and unprofitable things. I have time to read more books, interact with my children and husband in a more personal way, and time to study and meditate on God's word.

I am also noticing that now that I'm not meeting my need for community through cyber-space I am more proactive in getting together with people in person. Not surprisingly this type of interaction is far more satisfying then anything the computer world can provide. I'm not intending on giving up FB or blogging (obviously) but instead use them as the tools they are meant to be, let them facilitate the face to face meetings, etc.

I love the idea of giving up of myself and my habits (even if they aren't inherently evil) to focus on Christ and His amazing work on the cross for me and all who would believe. While many still stumble on the idea of Lent as being used to gain God's favor, I embrace Lent as another opportunity to worship and glorify my God who extends in grace to my and lavishes me with His love.

As we approach Resurrection Sunday, may your hearts be renewed with the love of God, the mystery of His ways, the beauty of His majesty, and the sweetness of His grace!

Dr's Appointments and ER vists

2010-02-08T14:37:00.000-08:00

This has been a busy week for the Fisk household in regards to visiting some member of the medical profession.

A started it all off on Thurs night by biting through her lip when she slipped on the bathroom stool and knocked her chin on the sink. So it was off to the ER we went. I made the tragic mistake of succumbing to good marketing and taking A to Memorial's "new" pediatric ER. Of course they fail to mention that the peds ER still shares the same waiting area with the adult ER and has nothing available to occupy a young hyper child late at night. Also they failed to communicate that they were only going to staff ONE pediatric ER physician at night. Was there a back up? Heck yeah! We waited 2 hours to get to a room (which by the way was very nicely done), an hour to see the Dr initially, and then almost an hour and a half for him to come back and do the stitches. He wasn't an unpleasant or incompetent Dr, just highly overworked. A didn't get home until 1:30 in the morning (we left for the ER around 7:30pm). Surprisingly, she stayed awake the whole time and talked non-stop! I ended up going home around 11, while K stayed with her the rest of the night. I was exhausted from just trying to keep her off the floor and from injuring some other part of her. She of course loved the whole experience and is still talking about it. She loves the attention, her medicine that she has to take, etc., etc. We always knew she would be the first trauma-related ER visit for our family. Sigh* My lesson learned from all of this is that it really doesn't matter how specialized a facility is, if it takes 6 hours to get 3 stitches it isn't worth it. I could have probably taken A to Denver and gotten it done faster! Next time we'll be heading to one of the Penrose/St Francis hospitals. The drive will be worth it!

J then had his 9 month check-up today. I love the checkups without shots. Just a weight, some measurements, discussion on why my boys are always developmentally delayed, and we're out the door! J weighs 22# 8 oz and is 31 in long. That puts his height/length in the 99-100th percentile range (freaking tall!) and his weight at the 79th percentile. That's all well and good, you say, seeing has how we always have tall stocky children, but get this.... J is actually bigger then D was at this age!! J outweighs D's 9 mo stats by 12 oz and is 2 in taller!! What?? D is already a year and a half ahead of his age size-wise, what does this mean for J? Lol! My boys are going to be drafted before they can drive! :) Oh well, at least they are healthy and happy.

A will once again finish out our "Visit Medical professionals" week with a check up visit for her lip and possible suture removal (if it hasn't dissolved). I'm hoping this is a REALLY quick appointment as I'm just going to take all three. It seems ridiculous to find child care for what is probably a 5 min visit. By the way, A is looking forward to her visit! :)

I can say that I am grateful that my children see the Dr's and medical staff as helpers and not the enemy. It makes these adventures so much more tolerable and fun.

Birthday Epiphany

2010-01-20T09:22:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I celebrated my 34th birthday. Part of my present from my husband was a shopping trip so I could get some much needed clothes. I don't tend to buy myself clothes very often for some reason. I guess I am not all that confident in picking out trendy clothes that fit my body, so I tend to stick with a few basics and wear them until their threadbare. Honestly, I still have a few articles of clothing that I bought in college. Mostly shoes, as I'm 30+ lbs heavier then I was in college(currently working on that). Also for that past 4 years I've been pregnant or nursing and haven't felt it practical to invest in new clothes when my weight was varying so dramatically. We are done with babies for now, so it was time for some clothes.

The last time I did major shopping for myself I simply went down to Old Navy and picked out things that I liked and fit my budget. Sadly my budget hasn't changed much since college/ early professional years, but to my surprise my taste has. Saturday, I took my husband with my to Old Navy to get some jeans and a few shirts. I was some what taken aback to find that I couldn't find ANY style that I liked, much less fit me correctly. It was then that I realized... "Wake up! You aren't a teenager/college student anymore!" I found all the styles sloppy and the clothes cheaply made. I even sound old, don't I? Here's the kicker though... after leaving Old Navy with only socks, we headed to JC Penny's where to my surprise I found Levi's (never thought I could afford these before) and shirts that I loved! They fit me the way that clothes are supposed to and were attractive while yet fitting of my age. I never would have dreamed I would be shopping at JC Penny's and love the clothes I found! What's even weirder is that I'm ok with it. Too often our society pushes us to live, dress, and act like we are in our early 20's and shuns those who have gotten "old". Well I'm embracing my mid-30's and enjoying more mature styles of well-made clothes. :)

My Obsession with weight

2010-01-07T20:13:00.000-08:00

So I've been working out for 4 days straight now. I know that that isn't any Guinness World Book record or anything, but it's something significant for me. Besides all of those workouts have come before 7 am! And yet... I haven't lost a pound or even an ounce for that matter! Before you start replying with all the stats about how muscle weighs more then fat and how now that I'm hydrating I may weigh more for a little while... I know all that, but it still doesn't help my psyche to see the scale unmoved.

I can't even remember now when we got that scale (my first and only in my life), but it has since become my almost daily companion. I can't tell you what I weighed in high school and, except for a few health class weigh-ins, college either. I kind of always guessed my weight based on how my clothes were fitting. Even after college, though more aware of my need to drop a few pounds and tone up, I rarely was on a scale. Then 27 hit.....

27 was the year I noticed my body take it's most dramatic turn since puberty. All of a sudden I couldn't just cut out pop for a few weeks and drop 10 lbs. That year I had a weird asthma type reaction that landed me in the hospital for a few days and on steroids for a few weeks. Perhaps it was the steroids that screwed everything up, but my weight hasn't been the same since. I happened to know what I weighed at the time as they always weigh you in the hospital and I was a slightly overweight, but not bad.

Within the next two months or so I gained 20 lbs. A lot of things (besides the steroids) probably contributed to that weight gain. I was super stressed in my personal life, had just started a new job where I sat a lot more, and I hadn't made any significant changes to my diet despite the fact that I was older and had noticed that my body wasn't responding as before. I freaked out of course and through some desperate dieting and occasional exercise managed to lose 10 of it. I got a personal trainer and a gym membership in hopes that I could lose another 30. My best intentions were in vain and I maybe lost a total of 5 lbs.

Soon love took over my life and, as most love-struck people, I didn't really pay much attention to the finer details of life. I was now "too busy" to go to the gym and since I still didn't have a scale of my own I didn't pay as much attention. As long as my clothes fit I was good! That carried through until about 3 months into my marriage when I realized my clothes weren't fitting well and the clothes I was buying were a size bigger then I'd bought before. I think somewhere in here is when we got the scale. I tried all kinds of various diet pills and programs and even worked out sporadically. I managed to lose close to 20 lbs this way which only succeeded in bringing me back to my wedding weight.

Then I got pregnant and, as all those who have had kids know, the book on your body goes out the window.... and here is where my weight truly became an obsession. I tried so hard to control my weight gain only to find myself gaining faster and faster. I began to let my view of myself dictate my interaction with others thinking that they viewed me the same way I viewed myself.

Through the last 3 pregnancies I've gained and lost 60+ pounds. The roller coaster of my weight has given God opportunity to show me the vanity of my heart and my willingness to believe the lies of our culture. The biggest lies I see me swallowing are 1) you aren't truly attractive or worth loving (from a husband) unless you can at least look close to- "fill in the blank", 2) people who are noticeably overweight have a problem with self-discipline and are lazy, 3) true happiness comes when you have a body that everyone else envies. Now I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that my husband can truly love me even without me looking like Angelina Jolie and yet I still find myself drawing away because I don't feel worthy of his love. I also know that while lie #2 may contain some truth to it, the reverse logic isn't necessarily true, i.e. if someone is thin then they ARE self-disciplined. Still, it is a humbling thought to have some of your character flaws so obviously advertised to the world. Lie #3 should be the easiest to dispute as we have seen (especially in recent years) a huge number of the supposed happy (thin, rich, successful, powerful) take their own lives out of depression and unhappiness, and yet I think I fight my sin nature here in that I want to be able to control my happiness and my life versus letting my fulfillment and happiness come from Him.

Which brings us back to me now once again working at losing some weight. I am about 45 lbs away from my goal and roughly 35 lbs away from the healthy range. After much research, prayer and conversation I arrived at the conclusion that I am not, nor ever going to be Faith Hill, Julia Roberts, Nicole Kidman, or Katie Holmes all who are about my height and weigh in the 120's. I haven't been in the 120's since I was 12 and 5'6" ( I looked at my old medical records for this info.) Yet I do want to be healthy and fit so as to live a long life, enjoy my children and grandchildren, and not look back with regrets about things I missed out on because of poor health. Therefore I set my goal to get in the healthy range plus an extra 10 lbs for cushion (no pun intended!)

So why am I telling you all this? Why is it any of your business what I weigh or have weighed over the years? Well it's just plain cathartic for me to get it out and to be brutally honest about my motivations. That way I can't hide behind a facade of nobler intentions. I need to be healthy, but not at the expense of my heart, life, relationships. My desire and prayer is that while I work at getting my body healthy I will find peace and wholeness for my mind as well. So to all those who read my blog and know me (which is probably everyone), consider this my invitation for your input and accountability into how I few myself, reflect Christ, etc.

IF you are still reading this rather long post ... thanks for letting me vent. I feel better. :)

2010 New Year's Goals (and '09 goal report)

2010-01-03T09:42:00.000-08:00

2009 Goal Report

1. Gain a healthy 20-25 lbs with my pregnancy, have a healthy delivery, and then lose my pregnancy weight plus 10 lbs. Well, I gained closer to 40 lbs with my pregnancy and have yet to lose it all, much less the extra 10 lbs. However I did have a healthy delivery and a happy baby boy!

2. Potty train D by May and possible A by the end of the year. D is potty-trained, though it didn't happen by May. He just wasn't ready. A is very close and I am looking at getting her trained this week even. So, while I didn't quite meet this goal I got pretty close!

3. Read more non-fiction this year. I didn't get any where near accomplishing this goal. After having J I just wanted entertainment so read tons and tons of fiction. I did get in a few non-fiction this year, but not nearly as much as I should have. I did join a book club though and while we haven't read any non-fiction yet; we are reading more challenging fiction and books I wouldn't have picked up myself.

4. Get settled in a new community and find a way to be more involved in church. As often happens in life, our plans to move fell through and we are still in the same house has we have been for the past 4 1/2 years. We finished up our commitment to the church plant in Denver and then started attending a church back here in the Springs. Over the fall I got involved in MOPS, Bible study, a book club, and our sunday school community. So in one sense I did achieve this goal, but not in the way I thought I would. I am finding that being involved with others in the same stage of life has kept me sane, given me more self-confidence, and helped me to feel more at peace with my world.

On to 2010:

1. Lose 50-55 lbs. With my husband's encouragement and no pregnancy to derail my efforts this year, I am determined to get healthy and in shape. I know that carrying less weight will give me energy, self-confidence, and motivation to accomplish more and keep up with my children. Starting tomorrow I'm doing a weekly challenge of exercise, no sugar, drinking water, and healthy foods. Should be fun!

2. Develop my spiritual disciplines. I have been struggling with spiritual disciplines pretty much ever since I knew I was supposed to do them. For a long time though my motivations have been all wrong. I've been focused on what I needed to do to be a "good Christian" instead of just my need for God. Lately I've been realizing that prayer and Bible reading don't make me a better mom, wife, friend, sister, etc.; they make me good. Without God's help I am not good at anything, much less trying to be better. I need the discipline to help me grow in my faith and to teach my children how to be disciplined in their life.

3. Potty train A. It will seem like heaven to me to only have one in diapers. As mentioned above this may be one of my first goals accomplished!

4. Learn to be content in all circumstances. I don't know if our lives will change all that much this year. There is always the potential that they could, but they may not too. I must learn to be content with where God has us and make the most of it. While I like to hope for better/different things, I must be grateful for what I have. This goal may be a life long process, but I would like to see myself make some strides forward in this and really grow up a little.

5. Continue to build and cultivate new friendships. It has been a long time since I really have had close close friends. Do to some apathy and busyness on my part and just life circumstances I've let a lot of good friendships fade away. I know that I need one or two or three good girl friends that I can truly live life with. I am praying for God to lead me and I will do my part to reach out and help them grow.

So there are my 2010 goals! Happy New Year's all and may all your goals be reached!

2009 Gratitude

2009-12-31T08:44:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine did this on her blog and I thought it was a good exercise for me as we are going into the New Year. Here are the top 10 things I am thankful for from '09!

1. The healthy delivery and first 7 months of life of my little boy J. In spite of having to come early due to complications, being hospitalized at 2 mos for RSV, and having outpatient surgery at 7 mos; Jackson has been a happy content little boy. He is growing like a weed and continually delights us with his sweet belly laughs. Though he was unexpected I am forever grateful to God for blessing us with him.

2. My amazing husband who, in spite of a struggling economy, hasn't given up on finding creative ways to get jobs and make money. He is an amazing provider! I am thankful for the leadership, love, and strength he brings to our family.

3. Our two toddlers. Unfortunately both D and A have hit the terrible two's at the same time. Yet in between temper tantrums and just general stubbornness, we see some beautiful characteristics coming out of them. They continue to amaze us with their knowledge, perceptiveness, and tenderness! They too are blessings.

4. For the new friends and community we are finding at church. Through Sunday school, MOPS, and women's Bible study I am finding a wealth of new friends that are sharpening me and challenging me. They also give me an outlet for adult conversation. I find that I am a better wife and mom because of having friends!

5. Our new mini-van! I know it sounds dorky, but it has really been a huge blessing to us. It's so convenient and spacious. We have taken a few trips in it and it has been a breeze!

6. God's creative provision in our lives. We have seen Him provide for us in ways we never dreamed possible! From gifts from family to refunds from unexpected places. We haven't been living in excess, but our needs have all been met!

7. For the opportunity to see extended family this past summer. It is hard to do any kind of lengthy travel to see family, so it was a huge blessing for us to have family come to Colorado this past summer! We thoroughly enjoyed the long weekend.

8. Our 5th anniversary get-a-way! We were able to leave all three kids at Grammie's and go to Vail for a few days. Thanks to saved up Marriot points we were able to do the whole trip very cheaply. It was such a blessing to spend time just as couple without children. I think we should try and do this once a year so as to not lose our identity as husband and wife in the midst of being parents.

9. Our 112 year old house. This is a hard one for me, because I spend most of my time focusing on all that needs to be fixed in our old house and how we can't afford it. However, I must be thankful for the fact that it is spacious, warm, still standing (after 100+ years), and that it is ours. I am the worst at playing the comparison game and always finding someone who has it better then me and yet I need to remember just how much better I have it then so many others... and be grateful!

10. While '09 has been a hard year for us Fisks' emotionally, spiritually and financially, I am thankful for God seeing us through and for strengthening our faith in this time. It is only because of hard times that we appreciate the good. We have learned the difference between need and want; and are in the process of being content with wherever God has us. I hope and pray that '10 has different lessons for us, but if not, I will continue to thank God for His many blessings in our life!

This month in pics

2009-12-28T14:41:00.000-08:00

Since it has been awhile since I last posted I thought I'd let our pictures from this past month "tell" the stories of our holidays.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Do to the fact that we hosted the Cousin's Christmas Party this year we got our decorations up much earlier then normal. It was kind of nice to have an excuse to get motivated.

2009-12-28T14:38:00.000-08:00

This year, in order to make Christmas day celebrations with family a little less chaotic we had the cousins all exchange presents early with a little "Cousin's Christmas Party". It was a huge success and a lot of fun to host. The kids all played really well together and enjoyed their new gifts. A and D here enjoying muffins, fruit and yogurt.

The eight oldest cousins (all under 6) at the table eating! Auntie E is sitting with them too. :)

D and A sitting with K waiting to give their presents. There was quite a bit of confusion as to what they were to do with the presents. Before long they all started opening the presents that they were supposed to give. lol!

A picture of the aftermath. A is actually playing with a toy she got for her birthday a few months ago. Kids are fickle I guess.

J in his new Bumpkins bib. We love it and actually got one for A for Christmas. I highly recommend.

Beautiful Auntie E and J.

2009-12-28T14:27:00.000-08:00

We finally got the kids out to play in the snow this month. We had to wait until we had enough for them to play in. Of course that much snow came with sub-zero temperatures so they weren't out for very long.

D being a big man helping Daddy.

A just mostly stood the whole time she was outside as she was so bundled up!

D really got into the snow play.

Our cute little snow bunny.

J is a happy happy boy.

Our baby is now 7 months old and sitting up by himself!

The boys hanging out on a snowy day watching sports.

2009-12-28T14:14:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful peaceful Christmas this year. Because of budget constraints we really had to be creative with gifts this year. We were able to spend under $200 though on all our gifts while still giving meaningful and special gifts. Who says that you have to spend a lot. Two weekends before Christmas we had all of our holiday parties and enjoyed visiting with all of our friends and family. The week of Christmas was pretty low key. K didn't have much work to do so was home with the kids, which they loved. D ended up getting sick the 23rd-25th so we were forced not to do as much as we might have otherwise. Christmas Eve I took the younger two to Grammie's house for dinner and presents and then headed to church for the service. Unfortunately we only made it through half the service as A was not in the mood for quiet reverent worship and was being quite disruptive. Oh well at least we were there. On Christmas it was my turn to stay home with D so after a lazy quiet Christmas morning and afternoon K took the younger two to his family Christmas gathering. What an amazing husband I have as I'm sure it was quite a feat to keep track of those two in that crowd. I enjoyed the time alone with my son.

We celebrated Advent for the first time this year and I really think it added so much to the season for me. I found that my focus was far less on gifts, obligations, etc. and more on the anticipation of Christ and His worship. What a beautiful holiday this is!

Our sweet J on his first Christmas.

The boys were up first on Christmas and anxiously waiting for A to wake up.

D and A starting to open presents.

K and D setting up D's new race track!

A loves being a "mommy"!

J and the new blanket I made him for Christmas.

K and D opening a bunch of building blocks. Great father and son time.

A with all her accessories for her babies. She is in heaven with all these things to take care of her little ones.

Chillin' with daddy. Notice A still not far from her baby.

All of us having our Christmas dinner that Daddy so lovingly prepared. It was a rather fancy meal for toddlers but so delicious.

A and J

2009-11-27T20:35:00.001-08:00

A loves to dress up in whatever she can.

A fancies herself J's mother and LOVES to help take care of him.

J's first tub bath. He wasn't sure how to react.

Candids

2009-11-09T20:11:00.000-08:00

Life is just getting busier and busier. I find have less time to blog do other "fun" things on the computer. On the flip side I'm having more fun doing things with people face to face. I don't really remember every thing that has happened since last post. So here's a little recap of what can remember.

Our trip to Vail was fabulous, but a little short. I anticipated the trip for 9 weeks and it was over in 48 hours. It was nice, even for a short time, to sleep, eat, read, watch TV, talk to my husband, go for walks, and soak in the hot tub, whenever I pleased. We had a beautiful jr suite with a living room and fireplace. It was perfect to curl up in front of. The weather wasn't cold and snowy but the scenery was still beautiful even with all the leaves gone. The kids enjoyed their time at Grammie's and Gramps house too!

We've had some unseasonally warm weather lately so we've taken the opportunity to get out and play. The kids love "raking" the leaves and jumping in! One day they had so many tiny bits of leaves all over them that I had to run them through the shower. :)

A is very curious and into everything. I have to be careful about leaving fruit on the counter within her reach as she'll pull it down and start eating it. Today she pulled down a bunch of bananas and took at least one bite out of all but one, peel and all! I didn't even know banana peel was edible. I used the remainders to make food for J! He'll never be the wiser. :)

D is a voracious "reader". He loves for me to read his books from the library to him a couple of times so he can memorize them and then read them to himself. We are still working on learning to read phonetically and he is progressing fairly well. I still feel that he's just memorizing and I often catch him not even looking at the words. *Sigh!

J is by far our giggliest, most talkative baby. He loves to smile and laugh, especially at his older brother. I think he feels smothered by A, so isn't all that happy usually to see her coming. D, however, plays really well with him. He can almost sit up by himself and tries really hard to do so, though most times ends up on his belly, which he hates. He is eating solid foods like a champ though still prefers milk and gets excited when he even sees an empty bottle. We'll be taking him in soon for his check-up and I'm sure that he's going to out weigh A but probably not D. D was 19 1/2 lbs at 6 mos. J will be close but not quite.

*a little late note: D was actually 19 lbs 2ozs at 6 mos and was 28.5 in long. J at his 6 mo appt was 19 lbs 3 ozs and 28 in long! Then two weeks later when J had his surgery he was an even 20 lbs. What a big boy!

Throwing the leaves. This may be how they got so dirty!

Hard at play.

Such a little "helper"

D was playing with a balloon from A's birthday party and wanted his picture taken. :)

Our sweet two year old!

A decked out in her smock from Grandma F. and coloring with all her new "art supplies".

Terrific Twos!

2009-10-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

The title of this post is me "speaking" positive things into our newest two-year old! She is quite the stubborn, independent girl and bears constant watching and correcting. That said though, she is the most loving, tender-hearted, motherly little girl. She LOVES being a girl. Abi loves to play with her babies (feed them, dress them, discipline them, etc.), color pictures, dance, snuggle, irritate her older brother, read books, do puzzles and help mama in the kitchen. She's far more girly then I ever remember being and I love that. I pray that as she continues to grow she would be comfortable and content with who she is as a girl, would love with abandon, and would always be the joy she is right now. Thank you Lord for our beautiful, precocious two year old. Happy Birthday Pookie!

Our newborn little princess!

Beautiful Two-Year Old!

Addendum:

Here are a few picks from Abi's birthday "party" the night of her birthday.

Yeah! Happy Birthday!

Make a wish!

New things

2009-10-18T20:40:00.001-07:00

Dean is enjoying his "schooling" and though we don't do it every day he's still learning a lot. Last week he read his very first "story" in his workbook. He likes to sound out the letters in signs and such that we see while we're out of the house. He doesn't always get them into words, but I am still pleased with his application of his lessons. That boy loves to read!

Jack started solid foods on Oct 10th. It was rather bittersweet for me as I can't believe he's already at this age. He of course loved the rice cereal and now knows exactly what his high chair is for. Once we put him in it we'd better have his food ready pdq! :) Yesterday we started sweet potatoes, which he did very well with too. He seems to just want to eat. Though today he did let me know in no uncertain terms that he did not want anymore solid foods and just wanted his milk. Jack is fairly mild mannered and tolerant of things, but when he has an opinion about something he will let you know and will not be swayed. Fortunately, he is so sweet and cute the majority of the time that his little fusses seem like small little blips. He loves to laugh and thinks being lifted above mommy's head is hysterical. I guess it's pretty obvious that he's stolen my heart. :P

Waiting expectantly!

All prepped and ready!

First bite of rice cereal!

(this was quite a chaotic picture as I was trying to feed and take a picture at the same time while both Abi and Jack are grabbing at the spoon so they can "help")

The second bite.. a little bit more controlled.

September

2009-09-27T19:51:00.000-07:00

September has flown by for us as we've gotten busy at church. We finally made the decision that we are here for now and that it was time to get plugged in to a local body of believers. We are back at Village Seven and enjoying getting to know people. I am involved in MOPS and women's Bible study. I love the opportunity to get together with other women/moms and have adult conversation. The kids love going to their "class" and thank Jesus for it and their teachers every night. It's providing a good balance for us as far as home activities and being out. As it works out right now we are out of the home every other day. I've also taken to going out one night a week either with friends or by myself to just decompress. I'm finding that I am a happier, healthier wife and mother when I have time to be something other then "Mama". Recharging my batteries like this has also given my motivation to pursue friendships and meet new people, which is given my life far more depth then before. I guess my point is that I am far nicer to be around now that I'm less of a hermit! ;)

I started a new exercise regimen this week. It consists of 10 min workouts every day. Who can't carve out 10 min, right? The website I found has all kinds of workouts to do. Some that don't even require equipment or a shower afterwards. Every other day you do 10 min of cardio. I'm able to complete these workouts, feel the pain of the work out, and not eat up a huge chunk of my day. It's fabulous. The weight loss probably will be slower, but hopefully more permanent this way!

Dean is now fully potty-trained including nights. He is doing very well and even has gotten over his fear of pooping! What a joy to have at least one out of diapers. Abi should be ready soon. I was wanting to start this next month, but I don't think it is fully clicking for her yet. One thing I learned with Dean is that it is so much easier to train when you wait for them to be ready and really get it. I'm so grateful to have only 2 in diapers that I'm not all that anxious about her.

October looks to be just as busy with lots of birthdays, our 5th anniversary, and more social events. We are having fun though and enjoying life and the people in it!

I know this isn't the greatest pic, but Dean was so cute in Kyle's backpacking hat. I just couldn't get him to hold still!

A rare moment when Jack is on his tummy but not crying...yet. He kind of looks like he's thinking "why are you taking a picture instead of picking me up??!"

Four Months

2009-09-27T19:35:00.001-07:00

Jack had is 4 month check up a few weeks ago... some how the time has just flown by and I'm finally sitting down to update.

His stats are: 13lbs 14 ozs, 26.5 inches. For comparison he is the same length as Dean at 4 months, but 1.5 lbs lighter! Dean was definitely a big baby.

Jack is a very social baby and loves to talk and squeal. He adores his big brother and sister and loves to watch their every move. Abi can be a little much though and sometimes her "ministrations" overwhelm him! Jack has rolled over a few times and hates being on his stomach. He does manage to scoot himself around on his back and is never in the same spot that I left him in. He is my most ticklish baby. I don't think there is a spot on him that's not ticklish. It is so cute to hear him laugh. Just like Abi, when he laughs to hard he gets the hiccups! We haven't started cereal with Jack yet, but probably will have to soon. I am having to supplement a little after each feeding as he's just not satisfied. I'm trying to stall a little as it's hard for me to believe that my baby is already ready for solids! *sigh*

Jack at 4 Months 9/10/09

Dean at ~ 4 months 9/30/06

Misc...

2009-09-10T16:07:00.001-07:00

Just some random pics that don't really have a theme.

Brothers

What is it about kids faces when they are crying that is sooo cute?? Too bad those faces have to come with noise!

Abi loves her baby brother! I hope that they are always this close.

Abi with pigtails (or ponies as she likes to call them).

She hasn't wanted "ponies" since. She doesn't like her hair being pulled.

Labor Day

2009-09-10T15:58:00.000-07:00

Our Labor Day weekend consisted of just that...laboring. We rearranged a couple of rooms in the house, unpacked a bunch of boxes and basically tried to make what we have for space more usable. It turned out really well and was worth the effort. I feel a little more content with staying put for now too!

Downstairs Bedroom is now an office.

We "winterized" our back porch for a playroom/work out area.

We did have some fun by going to see the balloons launch on Mon morning. We didn't get there super early and so only caught the last wave, which was probably just perfect for our little ones. I was slightly disappointed, but there is always years from now when the kids are older and can appreciate the full show.

My mom and step-dad came down for dinner on Mon too and we had a good time with them. My mom took me to AFW and bought a new bunk bed set for Dean (and Jack eventually). Dean loves his new bed and we are so grateful for our family's generosity.

Just life

2009-08-24T13:39:00.000-07:00

Dean is about 60% potty-trained. He's doing really well with pee, but has become deathly afraid of poop. He knows that he's not supposed to go in his pants, but is equally afraid of going in the potty. So it usually ends up on the floor (sorry, perhaps thats TMI). Any suggestions on how to get him to overcome this fear would be fabulous. Otherwise it really is going well and it's so nice to not have three in diapers. Once Dean is 100% trained then we will start with Abi. She is already so anxious to go but hasn't quite grasped the concept of what she's supposed to do on the potty. Soon though! :) Having only one in diapers will seem like a breeze.

We are busy rearranging our house again as it seems we won't be moving for awhile. There are lots of boxes to unpack and things to put away. None of it all that important (we've lived without it for this long), but still nice to have and helps me feel settled. Part of the rearranging is putting Dean in a twin bed. We are looking at borrowing my old bunk bed set from my mom for him and Jack (someday). He loves having the box springs and mattress on the floor right now though and we even got him his own "big boy" bed set. He chose "Cars"! Abi will soon be graduating to a toddler bed as she climbed out of her crib last week and fell. I wish I could keep her contained longer, but I don't think it will be possible. That girl is truly something else.

We are not sending Dean to pre-school this fall, but I did pick up a Hooked on Phonics curriculum off ebay for less then 25% of retail!! Dean has got his letters, numbers, colors and shapes down, so I figure the next step is to learn to read. This will also be a good trial run for me as to how well I will do with homeschooling. :) I'm a little nervous about my patience (or lack thereof) with teaching!

Jack rolled over for the first time last week. He rolled from back to front. He did get his arm stuck so wasn't too happy to be in that position, but is getting so good at moving himself around. I can't believe he's already moving. Where have the last 3 months gone!? I will say though that I am glad that he is older and can sleep through the night so well. He lays down around 8pm or so and sleeps till 6 or 6:30 am. I find that I'm getting so much more done these days now that I'm rested. Amazing! ;)

Abi after "putting on makeup" with a marker off mommy's desk. Does the fact that I took the picture first, diminish the effect of the discipline?:)

Sweet baby having tummy time!

My big 3 year old.

All three.

Jack truly has the best smiles of all three of my babies!

Enough pictures Mom!

Dean is such a poser sometimes. :)

mini-Dean

2009-08-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

Family, friends and strangers often tell me how much my children all look alike and I don't usually see it so I just nod and smile! But recently I've begun to see how Dean and Jack look VERY much alike. Jack's head isn't as big and deformed as Dean's was and he's got darker hair and eyes, but it's still a very close resemblance.

Dean at 2 1/2 months

Jack at 3 1/2 months

First "Pony"

2009-08-24T13:29:00.000-07:00

Abi finally has enough hair, albeit thin, but still enough to do a small pony tail. She was quite proud of it, but wouldn't hold still for a picture. Typical (almost) 2 year old!

Family Life

2009-08-06T13:53:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's already been a month since I last blogged. July went by so fast but I'll try to recap as best as possible.

Illnesses

July started with Abi getting a cold on July 3rd. She gave it to Dean a couple of days later and then he past it onto Jack. While it was simply a junkie cough and runny nose for Dean and Abi, it turned serious for little Jack. He ended up at the Children's Hospital at Memorial with RSV (a cold virus) the weekend of July 10th. Coincidentally Kyle was out of town on a camping trip that weekend and didn't even know about Jack being in the hospital. It was a whirlwind weekend, but by July 19th everyone was back in good health. Jack finally got off the home O2 this past week.

Jack wearing his O2

Family Vacation

All the kids got better just in time for us to go on our first five-member family vacation. A cousin of mine got married up in northern colorado. We decided to make a vacation out of the weekend and stayed in a hotel in Greeley. It was quite an adventure with 5 of us in one room. Needless to say we didn't get much sleep. It was great to see extended family and just have a fun weekend. We took advantage of the hotel pool frequently and Dean ate his fill of waffles from the hotel provided breakfast. We probably won't be doing that again any time soon though as we came home needing a vacation from our vacation.

Jack and Daddy at the wedding reception.

Potty Training

We finally have found an "ideal" time to train Dean. Ideal meaning Jack is sleeping through the night and everyone is healthy. We are on day 3 and so far it's been pretty good. Only an average of an accident per day so far. We even ventured out today to the library and the park without any incident. Dean used the public restroom at the park too. I think the most challenging part is Abi's insistence that she go potty too. Of course all she really wants is the treats and has yet to go pee. It is hard to resist her though when she is crying "Please, potty!" I figure once Dean is trained then I can work on Abi. With Dean going every 5-10 while awake I simply don't have time for two!

I really can't believe the summer is almost over and kids are heading back to school. We don't really know what this fall holds, but are trusting God to lead us.

Jackson - 1 month

2009-06-29T14:49:00.000-07:00

Even Stephen...

2009-06-29T14:42:00.000-07:00

As I have been trying to keep up with Jack's rapid growth through regular picture taking, Dean and Abi have wanted their turn in front of the camera. So here's a few snapshots of Dean (age 3) and Abi (20 months).

Growing

2009-06-29T14:39:00.001-07:00

Jack at 11 days old.

Jack at 7 weeks old.

Snapshots of Summer

2009-06-29T14:17:00.000-07:00

Playing in the new pool is a great way to cool off!

Summer means sandals and painted toes. This is Abi's first time wearing toenail polish!

It's also fun to visit cousins' pools for a little playdate!

Birthdays and Baseball

2009-06-15T07:38:00.001-07:00

Dean had a typical boy birthday. Lots of eating and baseball. Kyle took Dean to a Sky Sox game (Colorado Rockies AAA affiliate) and Dean sat through a double header and only wanted to leave when everyone else did. That boy loves his baseball! Dean also had ice cream and chocolate cookies for his birthday "cake". His favorite present is a t-ball set from Grammie and Gramps Fisk. He wants to play baseball all day long now!

It's amazing to me how fast time has gone, but I'm enjoying these days just as much if not more then his baby days. He continually amazes us with his knowledge, sensitivity and observations. What a true blessing he is! Thank you Lord for our Dean boy!

Eating Mac and Cheese for lunch. Dean's favorite meal.

Dean and Daddy getting ready to go see the Sky Sox play.

Our big 3 year old!

Dean at the game with Daddy and Dean's friend Preston.

Getting in to the game!

Happy 3rd Birthday Dean!

2009-06-12T23:50:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to our big boy! It's such a joy to watch him learn and grow and become a boy. We learn as much about ourselves as about him! *birthday pics to follow

Siblings

2009-05-30T16:26:00.001-07:00

Jackson- 12 days old.

Dean- One week old.

Abi- 10 days old, first "tub" bath

Jackson- 2 weeks old, first "tub" bath

More pics..

2009-05-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

Quick update: Jack had his 2 week check up this past week and successfully reached his birth weight plus a little more. He currently weighs 7lbs 4 ozs and is 21 3/4 in tall. So even though he's put on some weight he's also stretched out some more. At this rate he'll never fill out! :)

The Fisk Five!

Grammie Fisk and Jack

Abi "loving on" baby Jack

Dean meeting Jack

Abi meeting Jack

Gramps Fisk and Jack

This and that...

2009-05-25T19:40:00.000-07:00

My apologies to those of you wanting to see more pics of our newest addition. My lack of time on here is merely a reflection of my busy life now. When I do have time it seems there are always more important/pressing things to do; like clean or sleep. As my husband is engrossed in the Nuggets game right now, I do find I have some extra time to do a little blogging.

The first 2+ weeks of life with Jack have been pretty good. He's by far my smallest baby and therefore seems to have the most trouble figuring out the routine. He's still super sleepy during the day and mega alert from 1-4am. Last night we did manage to accomplish him sleeping in his bed all night long and I didn't lose any more sleep then usual. Dean and Abi are very sweet and loving with Abi being more interested in helping. I figure Jack will just have to toughen up in order to handle all the love from his siblings.

We haven't gotten out much due to lack of convenient transportation, but PTL we found a nice Honda Odyssey that we are buying this week (it's being shipped from NY). It will be so nice to be able to all go places in one car. The weather hasn't been cooperating much either for even getting out to the park or for walks. I enjoy the rain and know that it is good for our semi-arid climate, but I wish it was a warm rain. That was one of the few things I enjoyed about the weather in Tulsa. Playing in the rain is a blast as long as it's warm!

Our Memorial Day was rather sedate as there isn't much to do with 3 under 3 in bad weather. So we hung out, grilled some brats, and watched the rain fall. While my kids are precious and cute at this age, I'm really starting to look forward to them being just a tad older and taking them to fun places. I know though that I need to enjoy what I have right now too!

Aunt Mindy and Jack

Grandma Francis and Jack

Going home!

Jack's going home outfit (he's already outgrown it-lengthwise)

Brothers...

2009-05-08T11:40:00.000-07:00

Dean's first bath. June 12, 2006

Jack's first bath- May 7, 2009